Dharma Practice. Example conversation took place on facebook

Ozay Rinpoche giving instructions for the coming conversation:

@all
To start with; always speak the truth, no polishing egos even if it upsets apple carts, then observe yourself as you write, then, observe yourself when there is reaction back, you will likely make lots of reaction by others, and there will be instinctive reactions in yourself, fight and flight mechanisms etc.

Always be honest how you feel and about who you have become, always be true about what you see in others as flaws, they will be more than honest about your flaws, this Dharma is only for the courageous



If you are not working well with this Dharma then you will be taken by the instincts of ego, which means your reactions will be unintelligent, your reasoning faculty and higher mind will hit the floor.

But, if you are successful then you will not be touched by negative reaction of others, YOU WILL NOT BE TAKEN BY YOUR ANGER HATE JEALOUSY RESENTMENTS, YOUR DUAL NATURE WILL EVENTUALLY MELT AWAY, the fight and flight biological reactions will participate less thus you become more in control of your life and your health.

The more you practice the better you become.

This keeping one eye in and one eye out will over flow eventually to ordinary life, self awareness eventually will lead to blissful states this is purifying yourself to reach higher level of realisation.

Of course there is a lot more to it than I can explain in one post, but you get the basics I guess.

Responds of Ahiranta:

@all
Yes speaking truth in all situations is not easy without seeing peoples feeling being hurt by what has been said.

For example, we just had to spend 2 days with people who live life in a totally different way that we do. They talk and talk to spend time with you.

Moments of silence are experienced as a threat, something that need to be avoided at all costs. Listening with interest is after a few hours becoming very difficult and hard work especially when you know that Ozay and I are used to being in silent most of the day, meaning not talking outwardly, of course mind is not silent every moment during each day,

Still, having to listen to each detail of a visit to a shop and I mean each detail from which shoes were on their feet, to the number of bikes parked outside the shop, to the amount of people standing in line, including what they were wearing. All the talk was about describing things like that. Nothing else was ever spoken about!

Interesting opportunity to observe self within such situation, but do we tell them in that moment the truth? That what they are talking about is of no importance to us. What does it say about them? Nothing really does it now. It is saying something about me, that I judge this interesting, and not that what they talk about. It say's something about me that I judge them as talking about a lot of rubbish.

What does it say about me, it shows me that I am in dual mind.

Therefore, let us go the moment I become aware of not being interested in whatever they have to say. I do not speak aloud what I think or feel because that has nothing to do with the truth.
If I would say that they are boring my brains out, it is not a truth, it is a judgement. If I would say, I am judging you because I think I know better things to talk about, better day; what I think are better things to talk about, I am totally wrong in doing so, then yes that would be the truth.

Still would that help them? No it would hurt them without giving them anything, not that we can give another anything, but that is another matter. Therefore truth we are talking about is truth from self, from inner being, not from judgemental mind which produces remarks like:
• I like this,
• you do this wrong,
• I can do that better then you,
• you do not know what you are talking about.
• You, you, you,
instead of taking myself as an example and saying;
• I have experienced this within myself,
• or I have come to see this. etc

Speaking truth forces you to examine all motives behind all you are saying which is a very good way of letting go of attachments to ideas, believes, concepts but also attachment to identity, another person, possessions etc no longer afraid to be seen as a good person only, as a pretty woman or man, a spiritual, wise, sweet, attractive,,....etc.

When we speak truth, focus should closely stay on self because when we come to know self we will know the other in the same moment. Truth will start flowing on its own accord.

As someone said: Buddha had a great answer when some disciple asked: How come you answered the same question in many different ways?

What is the right answer, or remark, in one moment, can be the wrong answer in the next moment, for the next person. That does not mean that Buddha was lying in any form or shape. That does not mean the Buddha did not no truth. Buddha knew self, realized self, and by that he knew straight away were each individual before him stood within his development within mind.

So speaking truth is nothing else then speaking from inner wisdom. Which means that many people will become a lot more quiet.


Responds of Ruchi

@Ahiranta
Hi! What are you saying in the situation... somehow I did not come across reading ... can you help out - what truth did you speak?

Responds of Ahiranta

@ Ruchi
Nothing much. We mostly listen. Most people only talk to be heard, not to listen to what someone else has to say. It is the same in the example I described.

The people I took as an example exist while especially the female, talks. They do not really need you to say anything. The male do asks some questions so now and then but most of the time is interrupted by his wife. This couple is living together for almost 40 years and have developed a routine, so he just leans back and listens as well. So the answer is, we do not say much, we do not preach that there is more to live because they did not ask us too, we do not try to change them, we just accept them as they are, and keep focus on self increasing awareness, which creates love instead of judgement for the so called others.

Responds of .Ruchi

@all
yes, or upset the applecart and create disturbance and upset. Something I try to grow out of.

There are different ways of sharing and expressing ours self that are more empathic...to stay with your feelings and share ... but people get angry at that too...
And yes, you don't want to exclude anyone, but they exclude themselves! It is hard - it's a lonely world for me.

Responds of Annette

@all
Maybe it is not about "fitting in" Ruchi.

Maybe it is a matter of not excluding anyone, exclusivity is something that I'm still contemplating - whether we can really exclude anyone.

Then again, there is great value in who we surround ourselves with, and if the aura is not intact, we can absorb energies of those around us.

When I am undecided on issues like these, I come back to "intention" - as long as we don not see any person as less important or inferior to us in any way. There are so many fine nuances to this journey of the soul! But on this earthly level, much talking around my ears can make that I want to run and scream.


Responds of Ahiranta

@all
Yes, Annette spot on.

Mind wants to run in given example, heart stays in peace and full acceptance of created situation.

Beautiful example is a Buddhist story about a monk sitting on his mountain for a very long period. He has no contact with other human beings and food was left for him on a certain place for him to collect when hungry.

He reached high levels of peace, bliss, and silence. One day he decides to go back down the mountain into the village. He had become so peaceful, so silent, through his spiritual practice high up that mountain away from all influences.

Entering the village he sees that there is a market and he decides to have a look.

Within 5 minutes he finds himself screaming to someone who walked into him hurting his feed. All peace he felt on top of the mountain was lost, all silence had evaporated within a split second. No mastering of self had taken place, no realization of self had taken place all awareness was lost on one split second.

We have to practice, expose our self to all sorts of stimulus to test, to practice, to observe, to do active meditation.

We have to retract into solitude as well, to absorb, to ponder, contemplate, meditate and travel within to, and become our inner silence.

When we be inner silence while on the market place we have come a long way.


Responds of Ruchi

@Annette
What u mean with intention, can u say a bit more.

Editor remark; so far no responds to Ruchi’s question.

Responds of Ahiranta to Ruchi earlier remark; “it's a lonely world for me.”

@all
If it is a lonely world for you that mean that, you still see them and you as separate! When you come to see from your inner source, which is were wisdom awaits you, you come to experience that you are surrounded by loving souls, you see through the outside packaging and connect with each one without them consciously knowing this.

My whole point is, that most people think they speak the truth but they do not. They ventilate judgements, opinions, believes, ideas, moralistic rules etc.

No ego likes “to be told”. NO EGO LIKES “TO BE TOLD!” Including my own.
Becoming is the way that is the less threatening to ego's.
Becoming here meaning; BEING.

Dangerous the uses of words, because if I would say: BE THE EXAMPLE! That would make the ego feel superior which we not want to do.

What helped me tremendously is LISTENING MEDITATION. That has truly increased my awareness in many folds. In addition, what is inner will influence what is outer. Moreover, as Annette said energy surrounding a solid physical form will influence this solid physical form from all directions. However, when we are able to be fluid, all energy just flows into each other without any ownership, while our consciousness, total awareness just observes.

Before I started my inner work with guidance of Ozay, I was just like you Ruchi. I felt an outsider; the world was a lonely place. I felt I did not fit in anywhere; I was an alien without knowing why? I thought for decades that there was something wrong with me. Others seemed to be fitting in just fine. I mostly felt a duck in a swans nest.

That has changed. I went from duck in a swan’s nest, to thinking to be a swan in a duck's nest, which is just as bad, only to arrive in this moment in which I have become all I see around me, meaning that I fit in into any given situation. Meaning, no longer lonely at all.

This I wish for every one, this is the reason why I take the effort to use the computer and share words in the hope that those who are searching as I did will hear, recognize, and start walking inward just like I did before them.

Responds of.Ruchi

@Ahiranta
Thanks. I have mixed responses to your mail, which I will share later, need to get some things done now.

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@all
When we apply our lives for other people’s ego, (Mind, personality, Identity) and make room for their variation so that we do not upset them, our lives become like walking on a tightrope, or like living in a prison. The lack of freedom of expression, the expression of our soul can only happen when it is in truth, that soul expression is love.

For many they have been in this prison for so long, institutionalised, not even knowing the prison they live in, for most do not know there is a better world the world of your liberation.

The ego makes it like the tight rope when in company of others: do not say this or they will get upset do not say that or they will think this of me, do not hurt their feelings etc.

We become prisoners of ego, not as free as we should be, not only this we breed even more evil in the world, by conforming to this behaviour as everyone today has.

People need correction as-well as children, the criminals are not the only ones locked behind prison bars and walls, they are in our homes in our families, and they are our sweet grandparents, our parents, our brothers, sisters and friends.

Only people who are ready to make the effort are those who have suffered enough, wish to find an answer ending this suffering, ending being the ball in the wind.

If you do this with people who are not ready, you can cause them irreparable damage. On the other hand, you have chosen to do this dharma practice consciously while they are still living in ignorance, therefore they are always in danger of more suffering than you and also an increased chance of cancers, heart disease, stroke etc ending their physical form, ending their chance of reaching liberation within this life time.

That is why this Dharma practice should only be done with people who come to the Dharma practice on their own accord. The ego is the cause of all kinds of disharmony, both inside the person biologically and outside into the world, lust for power, self-importance, recognition, greed, arrogance, pride and WAR.

Without ego, we would not live such short lives. Many of the illnesses associated with death will cease to be. They are there as a direct result of the unnatural tendency of mind, ego, personality, identity, identifying to create the untruths we are living with. This imbalance of ego causes anger hate resentments jealousies hurt feelings all kinds of unnatural phenomena for the animal that calls himself the highest amongst gods creation can also reach the lowest because of the law of polarity, right now man is the lowest animal because of ego.

Yet ego is the cause of its own demise, anything that is unnatural, as the ego so shall the universal law put back into balance that which is incorrect. That is why everyone eventually takes on suffering until they reach enlightenment. This Dharma practice is just a fast forward for your evolution.

Who is brave enough, who is courageous enough, only warrior class may attend.


Responds of Ahiranta

@all
Attending!

Responds of Annette

@all
Spot on right back at you Ozay, there is the test, silence in the midst of chaos, a great way to gauge! A method I have developed is to tell myself that if I decide to be in company, then I must be there, fully and totally. It is also a way of respecting the people I am with. They deserve our full attention. Everyone deserves our full attention. Maybe one reaches a stage where we do not even consider "pleasant" or "unpleasant" does not even enter into the equation - "equal vision" - to look upon living beings with the "same eyes".

I have a long way to go, but the witness is observing at least. I play like this: Annette = small ego self. My spiritual name Durga = Divine Self.

Durga watches Annette, all the time, and Annette is ridiculous!

Responds of Ruchi

@Ozay
“So why did you not confirm what I said then Rinpoche?”

“About upsetting people: why do you not relating to me?”
“Why this long discourse of words that I know and heard more then a 1000 times from an enlightened one directly?”
Responds of Ahiranta

@all
“Why the need to control, how the other should relate to you?”

“Why the need to determine what the other should or should not say, how long or short their answer should or should not be?”

“Do you think that written words are only meant to serve one personality?”

“Why the need for conformation?”

“Why if you truly know can you not see what is being transmitted?”

“Why do you not see after you have had so many words already from an enlightened one directly?”

“Why are you here?”

“Have you forgotten that you came here to do Dharma practice?”

“Do you not see that all words written may wake someone up?”

“Do you not see that all words written are not for one person but for all?”

“Why do you need someone to relate to you? are you not the same as all others?”

“Why should writing by short? To please you? Making that you can cramp into your day as much stimulation, as much so called important work as you have in mind?”

Many questions are there not.

You do not need to answer any of them for me,

I do not need your answer,

I already know the answers to all the questions above already been answered by me, making me see you because I am just like you.

If your ego still needs to answer them answer them for yourself, you do not need to feel as if you need to defend yourself in any way or form, because that which you might defend is not worth defending.


Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@ Ruchi. Because this discourse is not just for you Ruchi, it is for others also. If you speak truth, you speak truth, simple, no need for approval, it just "IS" it is only the ego that wishes to be identified with the words it has spoken, it wishes to identify to those words, real truth is freedom from all of this.

@all
When one holds something in the right hand tightly, one thinks this belongs to him or her because of the tension, in truth, that which you hold also holds you; (PRISONER)

Any tension in the body will be a clue towards something, which you hold onto psychologically in this way.

Keep one eye inside and one eye outside, SELF OBSERVATION IS DHARMA.

Responds of .Ruchi

@Ahiranta
Hi nice to meet you here, will share with you later or try to :-)

Responds of Ahiranta

@Ruchi
Ruchi says: "Hi Ahiranta, nice to meet you here, will share with you later or try to :-)"

Beautiful example of how people sweeten their words. Truth spoken lies underneath hidden for most people. What has not been said in words here, but is visible to those who know self is: I am not talking to you Ahiranta!! I want Ozay’s attention! I want to flex my muscles with Ozay! I will deal with you later on and give you some peace of my mind about what I think of you! Now leave me alone, and let me get what I want from Ozay!"

Why do I know this? I did all that myself, and sometimes in unguarded moments still do.

Another thing, which becomes clear when one knows self, is that Ruchi lives from division. This belongs here, and that belongs there. We all divide things into boxes so that we can keep control and make sense of the world through our mind. By doing so we turn people into things, things are easier to control.

People, being things is not far from the truth. Unreal, unrealized people are nothing more then mechanical things.

Truth: Hi, Ruchi I see you.

Responds of Ruchi

@Ozay Rinpoche
Ozay, I do want approval.

I also know the state when you are free from it, as you say, do you feel any tension in the body right now? I do. See you later :-)

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi Every time we make response there will be tension in the body.

Thought = tension.

The tension produced from ego, emotions are not productive for your over all health this is why we are here to learn to live life in a different way.

There is no one here who is going to give you approval or disapproval again this is an egoistical response coming from your ego, which not seen by your awareness.

Ego runs away from situations. It is a defence mechanism, it wishes to cause damage and run, or it has inflicted damage and runs, being free of ego one wishes to stay and learn more about ones own inner truth.


Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@all
Annette in theory it works but in action I have found it is difficult to put in practice, for instance you are in company of others and they talk, talk, and talk all the time, they miss everything.

For most people like to listen to themselves and are gratified to think others take notice, my strategy was to silence my mind, be still be present, but the ego needs to know it has your attention.

Therefore, a compassionate act is to listen to every word intensely so that you can nod your head at the right time, say yes at the right time and no at the right time. Just like Annette said earlier to be present with your whole being.

Trouble is when I went silent inside I heard nothing, suddenly I am prompted by facial expressions to make response, often I make right response while on occasion I get it badly wrong. It is a good thing Bianca is sharp witted she bales me out with humour, often!

When you are with people all day, not just a couple of hours, and you have to listen closely, this becomes as much an energy drain for you; if not more of an energy drain for you; than it is for them. Ahiranta and I did work strategies out in order to save this energy; we used our grandson Bobby, who was also present, a lot as a diversion tactic. His innocence and pure mind would recharge us.

If you sit and read a book eventually, it will tire you out. It takes energy, when you sit with people all day who also need attention. This will tire you if you do not have ways to recharge, i.e. stilling at every opportunity in between the gaps, but this takes skill.


Responds of.Aashan Sajangurukkal

@all
hmmm means
his(h)
method(m)
master(m)
methodology(m)

his = Ozay

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Aashan Sajangurukkal
Good morning Aashan how are you today. Nice to see you my Great friend.


Responds of Ahiranta
@Aashan Sajangurukkal
Yes, Aashan that is good one!
hmmm
his(h)
method(m)
master(m)
methodology(m)

h = Aashan Sajangurukkal

Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal

@Ozay Rinpoche.
Me too very happy to hear you through our words

Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal
@Ahiranta
I mean this methodology (note of editor: Dharma practice).
I respect this methodology of Ozay and Ahiranta.

(note of editor: Aashan copied and pasted words written by Ozay somewhere else here)
“Within Dharma practice to start with; always speak the truth, no polishing egos even if it upsets apple carts, then observe yourself as you write, then, observe yourself when there is reaction back, you will likely make lots of reaction by others, and there will be instinctive reactions in yourself, fight and flight mechanisms etc” Ozay Rinpoche

Responds of Ahiranta

@Aashan Sajangurukkal
Yes, exactly spot on Aashan!
Exactly when still, truth will flow on own accord, when not still I will be disturb and start talking a lot of crap from the mind

(Note of editor: to make reading a bit easier an earlier responds of first Ruchi followed by Ahiranta is copy and pasted because the thread continues here)
Responds of Ruchi

@Ozay
“So why did you not confirm what I said then Rinpoche?”

“About upsetting people: why do you not relating to me?”
“Why this long discourse of words that I know and heard more then a 1000 times from an enlightened one directly?”
Responds of Ahiranta

@all
“Why the need to control, how the other should relate to you?”

“Why the need to determine what the other should or should not say, how long or short their answer should or should not be?”

“Do you think that written words are only meant to serve one personality?”

“Why the need for conformation?”

“Why if you truly know can you not see what is being transmitted?”

“Why do you not see after you have had so many words already from an enlightened one directly?”

“Why are you here?”

“Have you forgotten that you came here to do Dharma practice?”

“Do you not see that all words written may wake someone up?”

“Do you not see that all words written are not for one person but for all?”

“Why do you need someone to relate to you? are you not the same as all others?”

“Why should writing by short? To please you? Making that you can cramp into your day as much stimulation, as much so called important work as you have in mind?”

Many questions are there not.

You do not need to answer any of them for me,

I do not need your answer,

I already know the answers to all the questions above already been answered by me, making me see you because I am just like you.

If your ego still needs to answer them answer them for yourself, you do not need to feel as if you need to defend yourself in any way or form, because that which you might defend is not worth defending.


Responds of Ruchi
@Ahiranta
Hi Ahiranta, first, it is your interpretation
Second, there is nothing wrong with it even if it where true.
(Referring to me sweeten my words and motives)
I also see a lot of ego strengthening exercise in your talks Ahiranta that both you and Ozay preach to drop and quit nasty you get which in your idea is 'speaking the truth' - or upsetting the applecart. At the same time, preaching.

If truth would be so easy to speak, if truth would be such a simple thing, just to speak;
Ahiranta you have just divided yourself you say: “Ruchi does this, and you Ahiranta do not!”

You, Ahiranta are saying that you only do it sometimes now. If you were over it, you would have found a different way to share.

Nice control trips your doing here yourself, projecting it all on me, ping-pong.

Sure the pong is to come back, pong, pong, pong, pong.

Crystal-clear ha-ha hey but you did manage to involve me in that bullshit!

Responds of .Ahiranta
@Ruchi
Hurt, ego-reaction

Responds of Ruchi

@Ahiranta
Defended ego-reaction, pong-pong sweetheart :-)))

Responds of Ahiranta

@Ruchi.@all
I have played that game myself for many years. When we can not understand that which we are fighting is our self while holding on to our believes, convictions, etc we start saying back what the other is saying to get under their skin.....like children do....I see a star....I see a star....I go home....I go home....you have chosen the words ping-pong hahahaha

Obviously, by what has been said, you feel hurt, lectured, preached, and pushed down as not knowing. Your reaction shows that you did not like what I said, thinking I should not have said what I said. You have forgotten yourself. Forgotten that you came here to travel within your self; participating in the Dharma practice; to TRAVEL inside of you! The words written which disturbed you use them to TRAVEL to the source within you keep the focus on you instead of making the choice to focus on me.

While anyone writes , I keep focus on me not on you. I talk about you, I talk at you, I converse with you, but while doing that I keep focus on me. I am not the source of your disturbance that source lies in you. I am just a tool a mirror.

This is NOT an ego-polishing place. This is the place where we practice Dharma. If you need to be told your a good person, you are very beautiful person, your kind, your smart, you this ...you that... that is not going to happen, although, all those things are present in all.

This is about how you react to others. How others have control over your feelings. I upset you and you could do nothing about that except by trying to win some ground back in some way or form. Instead of keeping your eye on yourself and free yourself of the power others hold over you.

A ball in the wind that is what you become the moment the ego is unchecked. Everybody on this planet has the option to hurt you when you are in that state of mind..

@Ruchi.
Now you are going to tell me that there were no emotions stirred within you?

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi.
Good morning Ruchi nice to see you here, glad you came back. (Editors note, following day)

HERE IS MY SERMON FOR YOU FROM MOUNT OF OLIVES TODAY:

You negative response on "preaching" will be my focus, I think most of your other stuff Ahiranta will address for you as you were talking mostly to Ahiranta.

Your negative response "Preaching" has little values when you consider it is only there, invented as a defence mechanism to shut down other egos.

A tactical ploy, your reaction about us preaching, is just a sentence, created to gain power and out wit, the other ego. In truth, preaching sermons is a good thing so long as the people who preach are self-aware, just like Jesus, Buddha, Osho etc some people are qualified to preach and some are not. You can rest assured I am also qualified.

@all
Those who preach truth are only listened too, by true seekers. The ones who do not accept truth because it comes from other people have ulterior motives in not accepting, I will explain what I mean.

Preaching today does cause a lot of "jealousy" amongst many people. Why is this? Everyone’s ego wishes; “to be seen as all knowing"

"IDENTIFYING"(personality ego) with what has been said as a personal attack otherwise what need is there to make negative comment, when all one has to do is delete, or not read? There is always cause to every effect.

Therefore, when a truly realised one, or an enlightened one, turns up and speaks; a jealous person will try to undermine everything the realised person speaks of. Again, the proof of ulterior motive lies in the actions because it is so easy to delete what someone else says, but rather than deleting the energy within you is driven by a need for recognition by the other (Jealousy) thereby; undermining truth; with the desire to achieve superiority; this happens in all kinds of relationships.

There is no respect for the truth, only a respect for one own ego and jealousy has become the driving force.

The demon jealousy has many masks but all are easy to see by one who is self aware, or if you learn to stand back and observe yourself in this play that is unfolding.

If you go look at some of the discussion, in this case on Facebook, while you stand back objectively "OBSERVING" what is going on, you will see that people are too afraid to speak about what is in "THEMSELVES" apart from rehearsed stuff they have read from books. They need these books as proof to themselves and others that they are not talking rubbish, they know unconsciously that all they know from mind is rubbish, while at the same time being frightened to look deep within themselves, frightened to find even more rubbish, not knowing that they would become truth, to see truth. How can you grow spiritually when it is like this with you?

ARE YOU REALLY JUST A BOOK?

There is no understanding of the "TRUE SELF” that is why such demons expressed in emotions like JEALOUSY win the day and run peoples lives until the day they die. They have not "LOOKED INTO SELF, the fear of hurting ego makes that they become stagnant.

Go, look at the discussions on the net, most of them are along the lines of ego polishing ....Oh your really nice.......That is just brilliant of you...........You are such a great person......You are so wise and wonderful etc.

If we are not polishing each other’s egos, by the way, your ego is your worse enemy; you get a situation where we are trying to break each others ego. I will tell you the better situation out of the two is the last one, better beat shit into ego than allow this cancer to grow even deeper into our being.

You fight to maintain an illusion you have been creating all of your life. It is a non-reality, why fight for that which is not real? You do, and you make it into a reality by giving yourself ill health and early death of yet another body.

It is a good thing that your mother and father enjoys sex otherwise you would be committing a great sin to put your parents through your childbirth just so you could wreck your body due to ego.

Responds of.Ruchi

@Ozay Rinpoche and Ahiranta. ////


Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi do you remember when you first joined us that I told you this is a Dharma practice?

@all
This is the system that we work with, this real life system that does not lie in any book, but rather the book you work from is the true book "YOURSELF"

If you are not "COURAGEOUS" enough then this, staying with us, will become difficult for you.

This Dharma practice is facing "YOURSELF" "SEEING YOURSELF" Remember one eye in, one eye out.

We are here to help ourselves, by helping others; we are here “to "TRULY" spiritually grow”

My advice if you have run out of fuel is this.

When you are in anger "BE IN ANGER FULLY" But "OBSERVE YOUR ANGER"

If you are in "JEALOUSY" "BE IN JEALOUSY FULLY" But "OBSERVE YOUR JEALOUSY"

If you are in "HATE BE IN HATE FULLY" And "OBSERVE YOUR HATE"

Now would you like to start again, as you were, but this time "KEEP ONE EYE IN AND ONE EYE OUT"

Eventually you will come to an end of all these blocks within the mind and you will feel only love in these situations.

Respond of Ruchi

@Ozay Rinpoche and Ahiranta.
(Editor note; Ruchi is here resending words spoken by Ozay)

“The energy is driven by a need for recognition over the other (Jealousy) thereby undermining truth with the desire to achieve superiority, this
happens in all kinds of relationships too.”

Ruchi continues:
Yes true, I understand this well, and its not only driven by jealousy, it
is driven by all sorts off... for example the need for denial, or repression, denial of anger, hatred, envy....greed... the need to keep a status quo - the need to keep the conditioning intact.

Responds of Ahiranta

@Ruchi: A joke for Ruchi;

The little Toyota car comes to a sudden stop. "Have you run out of petrol?" asks Ruthie Goldberg, sarcastically."

No, of course not, “replies young Fagin Finkelstein.

"Then why have we stopped?" says Rutchie."

Well," says Fagin, "you have probably noticed that we are parked in a quiet place in the forest miles from anywhere so I thought you might like a discussion about the hereafter."

"That's something new," replies Rutchie.

"What do you mean?"

"Simple," says Fagin."

If you are not here after....

what I am here after....

you will be here after I have gone."


.Responds of Ruchi

@Ahiranta
hahaha, a good example of what’s called projection.

All I did was trying out if I could reply directly from my mailbox, and typed some letters. Now the joke comes later> I am not that much into jokes, too arduous for
Me. Bye.

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi
Yes that is right, I often call the conditioning; the ego, as I have in this case, but the ego is very slippery, it is always looking for new angles to retain its power.

@all
In this situation, which is another common tactic of ego, it will change the words around and quickly take ownership of the issue, thereby yet again making a sly move to become superior and dominating.

Until there is a great pain, an acceptance of being just one big arsehole of a human being, and being false, a realisation; “I am full of shit”, I hate myself; there can never be any movement forward for spiritual development and realisation of self completely.


Responds of Ahiranta

@Ruchi
hahahahahaha I see you Ruchi in all aspects. Nothing then Love Ruchi, nothing then Love.

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@all
Below is my book "Freedom" Escaping the prison of the mind. You can get it from Amazon; it is about my three attempts to escape from Cardiff prison, succeeding on my third attempt, in a profound way, in my own words a story of true enlightenment through meditation.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Freedom-Escaping-Prison-Mind-Rinpoche/dp/0980081726

@all
.P.S. anyone who has questions can contact me personally on this addy: abc_enlightenment@hotmail.com


Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi.
So, you are going again or are you just pretending to go, which ever reason at this point in the discussion it can only be another defence mechanism in operation, attack and run, what do you think?


Responds of Ahiranta

@all
There is not intentional hurt put upon you Ruchi!

Do I have an ego? YES,

Do I get emotionally stirred up? YES.

Does my ego wants to feel superior? YES YES YES, it loves to come out the winner!

But do I really win? Do I win when I intentionally hurt another human being? Does it really make me feel good?

No, it does not.

Am I all the things you accuse me off? YES I AM!

Only difference so far is that I know it, that I accept myself as I am in each situation.

Am I aware in all I do? NO!

I send you that joke to break the wall behind which you feel so safe. I do not stand on the other side of that wall, pretending that I know better, that I am better. I am standing in your shoes. I am within you, Love you, how can it be any other way.

I do not hurt you are any one else. We hurt ourselves.

I am aware that what I do say or do not say will create an emotion within the other, hurt in the so called other. If I see someone cannot take words, I will back off or give them compliments instead.

You can take it, you are ready to free yourself from the control of ego just like I am doing. There is no difference. I am all you think I am. I am you! I am the mirror mirroring us back! You are my mirror miroring us back!

Responds of Ruchi

@Ozay Rinpoche and Ahiranta.
Attack and run, you say is my defence, yours is attack and stay, hahahaha

I only went for a walk in the sun :-))))))))))))))))))))))) that does also exist you know hahahahahha

How long were you in prison in Cardiff?

Can you send an excerpt from the book.

The only difference you say is that you know it, how do you know that I don't know it. I know it to sometimes and sometimes it takes a bit.

But as you are not aware in all you do, you are also not aware always of your ego and it's cunning ways in yourself...

Both of you so far were not able to share here with me not even one ego reaction that happened during our encounter...

I am going again; of course you can now say I am on the flight.

Ahiranta can say I am only flexing my muscle with Ozay and not her. Stay stuck in your assumptions byyeeee
Responds of Ahiranta

@Ruchi
Hahahaha

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@Ruchi @all
When I am in ego, then it is as you say I will be ruled by my defence mechanisms, but as "I AM" at this time; I am in the truth and awareness mode, therefore that is not saying I cannot be caught out on other days as you are, it just gets less the more I practice self awareness.

@Ruchi
Hope you enjoyed your walk in the Sun :O)

I was only in prison for a short time, but in isolation for 6 months, if you type into google "Freedom" By Ozay Rinpoche you will get a free E-book copy.

@all
You may know many things intellectually, as many do, all you have to do is go look around and you will see there are so many who know, there are so many scholars of the truth, but there are few who know the "TRUE EXPERIENCE Of TRUTH"

The proof of this is the inability to master the lower nature of self in such discourses as we are now in; i.e. anger jealousy, slyness, evil intent, arrogance, pride, self importance, self centeredness lack of friendship, lack of love for one another.

What you will see is that most are "MASTERED" not the "MASTER" as their words will claim, they have no idea how to be master of the lower nature, they preach they are masters, but when put to the test they easily fall.

The truth speaks not in words but in action. Actions speak more about where you stand than your words will ever say, but only to those who have mastered that lower self.

Just keep practising this method and you will become more aware of this truth, there will be no need to believe me, rather you will know this truth.

When I am not aware of my ego, this is what happens usually:

Something makes me feel different it is not nice anymore I become uncomfortable inside, something makes me unhappy, or ill at ease, there is tension where there was relaxation and softness in my body and mind something ends my bliss, something disturbs, or even hurts emotions may arise.

Because I am used to better states of being than this, now a natural occurrence happens inside of me.
A desire arises to find an answer to end my discomfort inside, we are all pleasure seeking, and this is the outcome of many years of pleasure seeking, trial and error with one pleasure followed by another until you have come to realise the final pleasure seeking lies not outside but inside the self.
You have created much discomfort by pleasure seeking material thing, ego polishing etc, naturally, you come back to yourself and then inside yourself to answer all questions about the sufferings; you will see it was just one key you needed, so simple.

When this happens, because I am more used to a state of peace, there is a quick comparison, with now and before, when it was good.
I recognise this is not good, it is then I remember myself and steer my boat back to peacefulness with awareness of the whole process and where I went wrong, total honesty has to be used in every way not denial, but rather acceptance, letting go, understanding, that is how I become aware of my cunning ego.

The more I understand my own ego the more I understand your ego, and others egos and all its tricks, this is to be expected if I am truly realised.

As you may have already observed, it may seem that I always have the upper edge all the time in such debates when ego is in play.
This is because I know its full nature by being aware and when not able to be this; the discomfort created of blind ego will motivate and move me to take action and get right again, that is; I will kill my ego, or die to it so that truth is flowing through me.

When you react as you have done so far, we can see where your action comes from truth or ego, because we have freed ourselves by killing our own ego we have become able to see you clearly.

If you can point out where we are wrong then, the truth will out weigh our ignorance and truth cannot be denied the moment it is seen.

If you see and bring it forward it cannot be denied except for one who is blinded by ego and runs away, these are egoistical tactics.

I stand and wait for your explanation.

On the other hand, is it just another poor attempt for your ego to regain ground? Again, there is possibility we are not seeing, but it is not likely the most likely thing as can be clearly seen; you are trapped within your defence mechanisms, until what you speak of can be clearly pointed out then it lies with you to find your own inner truth, in Yourself, or in Ahiranta, or in Ozay Rinpoche.

Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal

@all
If thorn fall on a leaf or leaf fall on a thorn....

only leaf gets hurt....

leaf is Masochist and thorn is sadist...

but some leaves desire to hurt....

Military without gun !!!!!!


Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@all
If a leaf and thorn come together, it is normally by an unnatural occurrence, though placed on the same tree.
In the same way, when ego comes into life it will damage everything it touches if it is not mastered correctly.


Responds of Ahiranta

@all
The child walks out the door after found out lying to its parents. The child thinks; “how can they know that I am lying? I could have spoken the truth! I know I did not speak the truth but they have no way of knowing that.
They could have been wrong saying that I was lying.
They cannot know what is in my head, they cannot see in my head.”

Because you cannot see, what I have come to see you cannot understand why I can see what you cannot see. Yet, give it time and you will come to see what I can see!

A child sees the world through his understanding. When our grandson sits with us looking at the same object he will see something very different then what I see or what Ozay is seeing.

You are at this moment keeping up the wall of your mind and filters all through your mind while reading all we write. All you write shows me where you stand in your development. What you see in me is also showing your development.

You conceive this conversation as being a struggle, a fight, and a battle of wills. It is not so. You are fighting your self.

I can talk to you about the colour red until the cows come home. But until you stop and start asking questions, preferably ask your self, you will never become able to see the colour red, to experience the colour red, to become the colour red..

You say that so far we have not been able to give you any words that showed you the working of our own ego. Ozay answered that beautifully for you.

Just as we cannot hurt you we cannot give you anything either. You will have to do the work inside of you. You mentioned that you had heard what we say from another source from another enlightened one, in person. You see hearing is one thing, digesting what entered the ear or eye is another. You are still looking for an answer that is why you came here. However, the problem is that you do not like to feel as if you are “being told”. That some else knows and you do not know.

This is why so many masters demand surrender from people who make the request to do their inner work under the master’s guidance.

You came here.

You wanted to do inner work.

You agreed to the dharma system explained to you by Ozay in a private message.

The problem now is that you keep holding onto all that you think you already know. You listen while your cup (mind) filled up with previously collected ideas, believes, morals etc while Ozay and I are pouring light over and into your cup so you can see clearly all the mind concepts you hold onto. How can the light, pointers, signpost or whatever name you want to give all words spoken enter you for digestion when the moment we send you each word you quickly cover your cup with your hand?

Someone wrote yesterday “you should not feed a cow meat”. The cow would die. We are offering you grass but you perceive it as being meat.

We lead you to the water we shine a light to light your path to the water. However, you are stuck of a for you invisible lead is holding you tightly in place where you are at.

We cannot do the walking for you.
We cannot make you drink the water.
What we can do is keep shining the light, which we call truth until you lose your blindness, break the lead, making it possible for you can start following the light until you will become that light yourself.

You came here to work. WORK! Not to be polished up.

Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal

@all
hahahahahaaaaaa.......very nice


Responds of Keep Lakshmi

@all
♥


Responds of Ruchi

@all
I need to retire for a while, thanks for your well-intentioned long replies


Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal

@all
Himalayas never move

Responds of Aashan Sajangurukkal

@all
Rivers flow

Responds of Ruchi


@Aashan Sajangurukkal
And: turbans never removed


Responds of Ruchi

@all
I have a thousand brilliant lies for the question: how are you?
I have a thousand brilliant lies for the question: what is God?
If you think that the Truth can be known from words,
if you think that the sun and the ocean can pass
through that tiny opening called the mouth...Oh, someone should start laughing!

Someone should start wildly laughing -now!

(Editors note: as mentioned before defence mechanism by quoting from book.)

Responds of Ozay Rinpoche

@all
The truth can be experienced on varying levels rising to the ultimate truth, because the ego is a lie and creates even more lies, this friction, that dialogue, creates is the stairway to the ultimate truth, see it or not see it, it is the truth, and you cannot deny this.

The ego (mind thought words) is a means to its own end, and the tool it uses for this end is suffering, through attachment to words it identifies with.

Therefore it is a fact we use words and it is a fact through words we create suffering and this suffering brings us self knowledge: Truth.

@Ruchi
Which paperback did you quote your last responds from Ruchi?

The Diagram

TRICKS OF EGO IN DHARMA

When I am in ego, then it is as you say I will be ruled by my defence mechanisms, but as "I AM" at this time; I am in the truth and awareness mode, therefore that is not saying I cannot be caught out on other days as you are, it just gets less the more I practice self awareness.....lol

Hope you enjoyed your walk in the Sun :O)

I was only in prison for a short time, but in isolation for 6 months, if you type into google "Freedom" By Ozay Rinpoche you will get a free E-book copy.

You may know many many things intellectually, as many do, all you have to do is go look around and you will see there are so many who know, there are so many scholars of the truth, but there are few who know the "TRUE EXPERIENCE Of TRUTH"

The proof of this is the inability to master the lower nature of self in such discourses as we are now in ie anger jealousy, slyness, evil intent, arrogance, pride, self importance, self centredness lack of friendship, lack of love for one another, what you will see is that most are "MASTERED" not the "MASTER" as their words will claim, they have no idea how to be master of the lower nature, they preach they are masters, but when put to the test they easily fall the truth speaks not in words but in action and actios speak more about where you stand than your words will ever say, but only to those who have mastered that lower self.

Just keep practising this method and you will become more aware of this truth, there will be no need to believe me, rather you will know this truth.

When I am not aware of my ego, this is what happens usually:

Something makes me feel different it is not nice anymore I become uncomfortable inside, something makes me unhappy, or ill at ease, there is tension where there was relaxation and softness in my body and mind something ends my bliss, something disturbs, or even hurts emotions may arise.

Because I am used to better states of being than this, and now a natural occurrence happens inside of me; A desire arises to find an answer to end my discomfort inside, we are all pleasure seeking, and this is the outcome of many years of pleasure seeking, trial and error with one pleasure and then another until you have come to realise the final pleasure seeking lies not outside but inside the self, and you have created much discomfort by pleasure seeking material thing ego polishing etc, naturally you come back to yourself and then inside yourself to answer all sufferings you will see it was just one key you needed so simple.

When this happens because I am more used to a state of peace, there is a quick comparison, with now and before when it was goood, I recognise this is not good, it is then I remember myself and steer my boat back to peacefulness with awareness of the whole process and where I went wrong, total honesty has to be used in every way not denial, but rather acceptance, letting go understanding and that is how I become aware of my cunning ego.

The more I understand of my own ego the more I can understand your ego, and others egos and all its tricks, this is to be expected if I am truly realised.

As you may have already observed, it may seem that I always have the upper edge all the time in such debates when ego is in play, that is because I know its full nature by being totally aware and when not able to be this; the discomfort created of blind ego will motivate and move me to take action and get right again, that is I will kill my ego, or die to it so that truth is more easily seen by me.

And when you react as you have we can see where your action comes from truth or ego, because we have freed ourselves by killing our own ego to see you clearly.

If you can point out where we are wrong then, the truth will out weigh our ignorance and truth cannot be denied when it is seen, if you see and bring it forward it cannot be denied except for one who runs away, these are egoistcal tactics.

I stand and wait for your explanation or is it just another poor attempt for your ego to regain ground again there is possibility we are not seeing, but it is not likely the most likely thing as can be clearly seen is you are trapped within your defence mechanisms, until what you speak of can be clearly pointed out then it lies with you to find your own inner truth, in Yourself, or in Bianca, or

TRUE DHARMA IS NOT POLISHING EACH OTHERS EGOS

HERE IS MY SERMON FOR YOU FROM MOUNT OF OLIVES TODAY:

You negative response on "preaching" will be my focus, I think most of your other stuff Bianca will address, as you were talking mostly to her, your negative response "Preaching" has little values when you consider it is only there because it was invented as a defence mechanism to shut down other egos, a tactical ploy it is just a sentence to gain power and out wit, the other ego, but in truth...Preaching sermons is a good thing so long as the people who preach are self aware, just like Jesus some people are qualified to preach and some are not you can rest assured I am also qualified.

Those who preach truth are only listened to by those who are true seekers, the ones who do not accept truth because it comes from other people have ulterior motives in not accepting it, I will explain what I mean.

Preaching today does cause a lot of "jealousy" amongst many people today, why? Because today everyones ego wishes to be seen as "all knowing"
this is "IDENTIFYING"(personality ego) otherwise what need is there to make negative comment, when all one has to do is delete, or not read? There is always cause to every effect.

Therefore when a truly realised one or enlightened one turns up and speaks, a jealous person will try to undermine everything the realised person speaks of...Again the proof of ulterior motive lies in the actions because it is so easy to delete, but rather than delete the energy is driven by a need for recognition over the other (Jealousy) thereby undermining truth with the desire to achieve superiority, this happens in all kinds of relationships too.

There is no respect for the truth, only a healthy respect for one own ego and jealousy is the driving force.

The demon jealousy has many masks but all are easy to see by one who is self aware, or if you learn to stand back and observe yourself in this play that is unfolding.

If you go look at some of the discussion on Facebook and you stand back objectively and then "OBSERVE" what is going on you will see that people are too afraid to speak about what is in "THEMSELVES" apart from rehearsed stuff they have read from books, they need these books as proof they are not talking rubbish, frightened to look deep within and see all this, how can you grow spiritually when it is like this with you? ARE YOU REALLY JUST A BOOK?

There is no understanding of the "TRUE SELF", that is why such demons as JEALOUSY win the day and run peoples lives till the day they die because they have not "LOOKED INTO SELF, the fear of hurting ego makes that they become stagnant.

Go look at the discussions and most of them is along the lines of ego polishing ....Ohh your really nice.......That is just brilliant of you...........You are such a great person......You are so wise and wonderful etc etc.

If we are not polishing each others egos, by the way your ego is your worse enemy, then you get a situation where they are trying to break each others ego, and I will tell you the better situation out of the two is the last one, better beat shit into ego than allow this cancer to grow even deeper into your being.

You fight to maintain an illusion you have been creating all of your life, but it is a non reality, why fight for that which is not real, but you do, and you make it into a reality by giving yourself ill health and death of yet another body, its a good thing that your mother and father enjoys sex otherwise you would be committing a great sin to put them through your child birth just so you could wreck your body due to ego.

THIS DHARMA IS THE HIGHWAY TO END SUFFERING

When we apply our lives for other peoples ego, (Mind, personality, Identity) and make room for their variation so that we do not upset them our lives become like walking on a tightrope, or like living in a prison because of lack of freedom of expression, the expression of our soul can only happen when it is in truth, that soul expression is love.

For many they have been in this prison for so long they have become institutionalised and do not even know the prison they live in, for most do not know there is a better world than this, and this world is your liberation.

The ego makes it like the tight rope when in company of others: don't say this or they will get upset don't say that or they will think this of me, don't hurt their feelings etc etc,

We become prisoners of ego, not as free as we should be, not only this we breed even more evil in the world, by conforming to this behaviour as everyone today has.

People need correction as-well as children, the criminals are not the only ones who are locked behind prison bars and walls, they are in our homes in our families, they are our sweet grandparents, our parents, our brothers, sisters and friends.

Only people who are ready to make the effort, those who have suffered enough and wish to find an answer, and end to this suffering and end to being the ball in the wind.

If you do this with people who are not ready you can cause them irreparable damage, you have chosen to do this conciously they are still living in ignorance, therefore they are always in danger of more suffering than you and also cancers heart disease stroke etc.

That is why this must only be Dharma practice, the ego is the cause of all kinds of disharmony, both inside the person biologically and outside into the world, lust for power, self importance, recognition, greed, arrogance, pride and WAR.

Without ego we would not live such short lives and many of the illnesses associated with death will cease to be, they are there as a direct result of the unnatural tendency of mind, ego, personality, identity, identifying to create the untruths we are living with, this imbalance of ego causes anger hate resentments jealousies hurt feelings all kinds of unnatural phenomena for the animal that calls himself the highest amongst gods creation can also reach the lowest because of the law of polarity, right now man is the lowest animal because of ego.

Yet ego is the cause of its own demise, anything that is unnatural as the ego is: so shall the universal law put back into balance that which is incorrect, that is why everyone eventually takes on suffering until enlightenment is reached, this Dharma is just a fast forward for your evolution.


Who is brave enough, who is courageous enough,

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE ON NET FOR PURIFYING YOURSELF

To start with; always speak the truth, no polishing egos even if it upsets apple carts, then observe yourself as you write, then, observe yourself when there is reaction back, you will likely make lots of reaction by others, and there will be instinctive reactions in yourself, fight and flight mechanisms etc.

Always be honest how you feel, and about who you have become, always be true about what you see in others as flaws, and yourself, they will be more than honest about your flaws, this Dharma is only for the courageous

If you are not working well with this Dharma then you will be taken over by the instincts of ego, which means your reactions will be unintelligent, your reasoning faculty and higher mind will hit the floor, but if you are successful then you will not be touched by negative reaction of others, YOU WILL NOT BE TAKEN BY YOUR ANGER HATE JEALOUSY RESENTMENTS, YOUR DUAL NATURE WILL EVENTUALLY MELT AWAY, the fight and flight biological reactions will participate less thus you become more in control of your life and your health.

The more you practice the better you become.

This keeping one eye in and one eye out will over flow eventually to ordinary life, self awarness eventually will lead to blissful states this is purifying yourself to reach higher level of realiseation.
Of course there is a lot more to it than I can explain in one post, but you get the basics I guess.

Dealing with the fear of the dieing

You need to pay attention to all of what I say in this mail concerning myself and Biancas situation as it is all relevant for "YOU" to help those people you work with, so stay focused as much as you can here.

OK I have thought about this questions you asked, to start with I did not feel I should answer it immediately because something in me was incorrect to answer, then I thought I should go and speak tp Bianca about it, the reason is I did not feel pure enough to answer it in the correct way, the reason I am not pure enough is this:

We have had the internet connection since Febuary, before this Bianca and myself were getting many days living in bliss due to our inner work we have both done together and still do.

I became active on the net because I wanted to serve by discussion and reasoning, opening possibilities for others to live better lives without suffering, but always there will be play of the ego in human relations. it is this that has slowly depurified me, but luckily enough Bianca has chosen only to serve by being creative with her video making and once in awhile she will take part in discussion, but very limited compared to what I am doing, therefore her purity is more clear than mine is at present, luckily enough my self awareness is still intact, if this starts to fade then I will normally go silent on the net for awhile until I return to a better level of purity, ego is a cancer that grows when you are among too many people.

I spoke with Bianca earlier and mentioned the situation you are in with your work and the people you are helping to deal with death, and this is what came through her, she gets used as a vessel when she is this pure state which is the same within you you and me:

She said tell Annette that she herself can only be the one to help, by herself becoming an instrument, by being a vessel, an empty vessel, meaning without mind, beyond mind.

That is you have to be pure yourself, it would be no good rehearsing anything anyone says to you, every person who is standing before death will be different, no one thing that is said to one situation is right for another, therefore you have to become empty. This can be actived by practice listening meditation, be calm, be relaxed be empty but alert and listen without thinking while the other speaks. You will reach the empty space within you, which we all have and there lies all wisdom for any given situation. You will experience then as if you are used as a vessel for this wisdom for each individual situation you come across, to shine a light to that person and what they need at that particular time to make their transcession as easy as possible. Each different day, situation, person will change, so you cannot be have senarios to use in all situation, you would only give ideas from the mind mixed with feelings from the feeling centre, making you often out of touch with what is needed.

Therefore this means you have to make yourself right, balanced, by practising emptiness relaxation and stillness this will make you a medium between this side and the other side and your intuition will work when it is needed, when you are pure you will be in touch with your heart centre, if you are too much in mind you will not be helpful as you could otherwise.

Depending on where the dying person stands in their understanding there are truths you can give, such as; "Be present, you are here alive here in this moment as you have always been now you have a chance to stay here and enjoy this moment this is beautiful here, don't go anywhere else in your mind except where you really are here, there was never a past or a future only your mind puts you in the future or the past, in the past you were not given this great opportunity and now you have it, nothing is really different, life has always been a rope either long or short you never knew then as you do not know now when that moment is, you knew the rope was either short or long, and it is still the same, and tonight you will sleep what is there to fear when you sleep sleep is beautiful it allows you to regenerate your worn out body"

This last paragraph will not be suitable for everyone, it may not be suitable for many, and that is why, you cannot, say to one concentrate on your breath, or to concentrate on this very moment, or concentrate on relaxing yourself, or taking them on a pleasurable trip in their mind by using suggestion, of course it is good for you to learn all those methods so that your intuition will let you know which is best in any situation, if you are stuck with anyone we can chat about it and maybe help you in some way but we will help you with "YOU" to become the instrument or vessel, and my story of becoming impure due to activities on the internet also suggests what you have to do or whatch out for that. As I have observed you use yourself well on the net and few understand what I put over as you do, so this is telling how developed you already are, you almost got lost for awhile back there and that is why I felt I needed to let you know you were on the right track, that is what I mean about the net people and ego=cancer.

By becoming pure yourself, your intuition will tell you what is needed at any given situation, Some people call this being guided by God or any other form depending on their culture or religion etc. Therefore to become able to see, to know, to become the inner wisdom, you have to purify yourself, meaning becoming master over mind, and everything will come to you when you ask, there are methods of prayer you can also use that will give you answers to situations that require them, I can give you that method too if you think you need it, just ask.

The book is being written, but I am not happy with it yet, thankyou for the encouragement.

I can work together I am more than willing to help you, you are a good cause that is why I am here in the first place.

Take lots of care

love

Ozay and Bianca

Judging?

When I was in my youth, I would go to pubs and clubs and dances, I would sometimes sit with a glass of beer and my friends, looking at other people and making verbal judging about those who make idiots of themselves because they have too much beer, or they are just stupid any way.

It took me 1982 in prison cell to realise that this tendency in me of being critical about the way others act in public then judging, judging all the time judging others.

At the time I never realised that this was stopping me from living a fuller life for myself. For instance, I would think certain kind of dancing was silly, or certain clothes were rediculas, or certain people were idiots, or certain behaviour, or certain talk was stupid.

I suddenly come to realise that my critical eye was not just blackening the way I felt about other human beings, but that by this mind frame of mine I had created my own prison, for how can I judge others, what right do I have if I do not live according to this narrow philosophy, that same philosophy I lay on them like wise I have to lay on myself, how can I be real myself, and good myself if I do not act according to those rules myself, those rules I lay on other people?

When I realised this, and I acted according to this narrow mindedness, I thought on it....Why was it there?

The answer I came to was this.......It was important for me that other people should like me, so if I act in this way, they will like me and if they act in this way according to my rules, then I will like them, make me feel important and them also. It was then I realised all my friendships were built on this silly philosophy, and my friendships built on thois were therefore all false.

How can I change this, I thought and make sure I do not fall into this niche again when I am out and socialising? Then an idea came to me, I would go against all of those rules that I had created for being liked and not being disliked, and those rules I lay on others also for being liked and disliked in fact I would do things to be disliked and show myself up every opportunity I could, I decided I was going to "BREAK" all of those silly peer rules I wanted to stay "FREE".

This was cringe factor; shameing myself etc was the plan so that I may stay away from this other prison of judging good and bad things, good and bad people, good and bad behaviour, liking myself disliking myself by that making my life full of all these boundaries with the outcome of over stepping anyone of them and I would feel really unhappy with myself.

Originally I learned to deny that it was me who was wrong at these times, so defence mechanisms were always running amok, I would blame others, rather than judge myself as I would judge them, I would deny the truth about myself, here I was always going to be lost.

Here is what I done to release me this subjective prison:


When I would go to pubs, sometimes I got drunk, sometimes I didn't it didn't matter I would still act the same with the beer or without the beer self awareness was always working, I would sing, I would dance the most rediculas dances, I would take my cloths off let everyone see what few were allowed in the past, I would do really crazy things like the dance of the flaming arseholes anything that was out rageous and anyhting that I would have great issue of conscience in the past, I would not hurt anyone, though I did break my little finger once when I got up on the floor and began doing certain gymnastic movement called arab flips, I broke the top of my little finger, I still carry the disfigure shape of my finger from that.

I remember once at such a practice that I was carrying out, only known to myself that this was a practice, others had thought I had lost a marble.

We went out and there was a show in a pub we went to, and there was a singer comedian doing his stuff, but we were talking, I think he was getting anoyed with our group, we were distracting him, he spotted me and came over to me with his microphone to sing the next lyric of the song he was singing.

It was really designed so we would shut up and stop the distraction for him, in the past this would of been enough to embarrass me into submission and I would normally refuse, but I was aware of my tendency to shy away from this, he was singing a song one of those sixties songs, can't remember which one, I took the microphone off him, he tried to hold onto it as he only wanted me to sing along, but I took it out of his hand, and began to sing the next lyric, I didn.t know most of the song, but I made up my own words to the tune.

The singer comedian try to take back his microphone, then I turned my back on him and jumped up onto the table, by now the audience was in hysterics laughing, they were not used to this kind of reaction and of course the party I was with were all falling over as I jumped up onto the table singing a sixties songs with my own made up version.

this was something I could not have done in a million years, and it liberated me from that prison.

The next day was always going to be a situation of facing yourself and judgement from others critical eyes, and my own guilt, the usual thing was people would see me after this the next days after and say things along the lines of: :Heyy! Phill "you", I didn't think you were like that.

Normally I would of had embarrassment and try to make excuses, try to avoid anything like this. go out of my way not to meet those people for a long time, but I would use this self awareness, recognise this inside me and turn it around take it on full frontal, and say yes I was acting like a right areshole, why?


This attitude made me free from myself, and I began to enjoy my life in a more enriched way, it did not matter to me anymore about the way other people may think about any of my actions, I was free from their criticism, they were free from my criticism, and the funniest thing, this meant I was able to love people in all ways, no matter what they had done, good or bad or something in between. I learned by giving them freedom from my judgment I had given myself freedom from it also.

This is how we all operate, but we are not all consciously aware of this in the way I had made myself aware, by inwardly observing myself and being totally honest about those observations, and you need to ask prieing questions, like; "I am here in this place supposed to be having fun, why am I not having fun in this life"? Answer: JUDGEING

The problem Of Enlightenment Living Alongside Ignorance

It was April 1983 that I was finally released from Dartmoor Prison, finally those long months had come to an end, and I was now also physically free, but I was soon to find out that being out of prison was more of a prison than the prison I had just walked out of.

My beloved wife Kaye had put together the little money she had from her social security and bought me cloths, all I had when I came out of prison was the cloths that I stood up in, yet I did not feel poor, on the contrary I felt very wealthy, if you were to meet me at that time you would think that you were meeting some one from the royal family.

No money could buy me, and I was uncoruptable, for the enlightenment was still present and strong within me, but I did not realise that in this world and the new life I was to begin that this enlightenment would work against the health and well being of others, here is one of my many stories and one of many reasons why I had to change, and reconsider my position in enlightenment I will relate this one story and hopefully it will reveal something for you.

By this time it was known to my previous enemies that I had been released from prison, of course you have to realise, for me personally they were not enemies, but for them who were still dual in nature they were my enemies and they hated me, I was free of all this all those things were gone outside of my reach, hate anger identifying to personality all gone.

The person who had come out of Dartmoor prison was not the same as the person that went into prison, or to be more accurate a person went into prison and a no person came out of prison, you see if I were to use my own terminology you may not understand so I use yours terms and use my terms together.

Inside of me there was a liberation, I will try to explain what that means exactly, so that no one is in doubt about what liberation truelly is, not liberation that has many different meanings to many different people, this is liberation that I am going to explain and the symptoms of it without any complex words or difficult language to have to translate no flowery talk here ok.

After I had attained the enlightenment a certain inner quality had changed concerning the mind, and relationship with body, for example, before this happened, my mind was "WHO" I was, along with my body and feelings and all the sense's, but during the happening of enlightenment where everything of body and mind and sense's along with time has ceased, I even found on re-entry into the body and senses that the breathing had stopped this would be so for many hours at a time, breath stops crazy but absolutely true.

This was as though the body had died, in fact it is good none of the prison guards came to inspect my body or they may have taken this body to the morgue, that is how it is with the body, of course the mind was one of the things that went first, but still there is "SENSE" of a 'self' when mind has stopped, let me tell you that for a lot of people they believe this to be enlightenment but it is not, I call this phenomena realiseation, one realise's what the nature of mind is, at this point and that it is a non reality, you have all the answers to living and the nature of mind, but you do not have the answer of life and what life truelly you do not have the nature of life as the experience is.

Therefore when the sense of self goes, that is no body, no sense of any self, space and time stop here is the greater liberation and this liberation, I call this liberation totality of liberation, and when one comes back from this non experience and gives thought to the new meaning you have come to, you at this time percieve the experience of this non experience as a great nothingness, yet in this there is completeness this completeness in the nothingness enters all life forms and is the source of life itself and because you are this nothingness and you perceive this new truth, a new kind of reality beyond self that is within you, you become the formless life and in every life form, you see this "YOU" everywhere, no more is there distinction between a you and an I, or a me and a them.

What else this also meant at that time i came back into the world was that I could see why I had created my mind and personality, and I could also see why others had also, now all this was seen as extremely very laughable, laugh laugh lagh how could anyone take this silly self so serious?

All my reason for personality had become futile and the freedom given from this made that inside of my feeling centre was so pure and light that there was a feeling of inner laughter at all the pettiness in life and how people make such nothings so serious, I could see where all thought came from and all the masks that covered inner motivations i could see the behind of the behind of everything.

Therefore this was how the symptom of enlightenment stood with me; there was a liberation of the awareness that was normally centred within the mind before this liberation, this awareness like a ball of energy stood at the back of the mind, it is the definition of total silence yet present, silence in essence, and the true form of our life, this thing is master of the mind only when it has become seperated from mind as it now was, mind and thought no longer taken serious, as I say laughter, laughter, I am not saying I would fall around in laughter 24 hours a day, I am conveying that feeling it gave in the belly and therefore no mind state.

Kayes mother and stepfather were not good people they were bad example to children and grandchildren, Kaye was the odd one out in this family along with her brother Ray, it was if she was a white sheep born into a black sheep family, now it was custom for this family when you have celerbration to drink beer and all kinds of stuff like that, and then the same thing would happen always, beer trouble fights and some one wants to fight but this did not so much come from the younger members it came from those two grand parents.

We avoided trouble at our wedding because we eloped to Gretna Green and did not invite anyone, but due to respect to Kayes aunty and uncle who she loved dearly we set up a small celerbration party, unfortunately there would be trouble inviting her mother and trouble not inviting her, so we went for the trouble inviting due to emotional ties, of course big punch up her step dad wanted to fight me.

You see it started when we spoke of my children and what happened to them when I went to prison, I said that my mother could not have them, because she had tried and been turned down, and if anything happens like this then grandparents are next in line for responsibility, of course I knew I was wrong going to prison in the first place, but two wrongs do not make a right as they say, this was not about my role this was their role and I merely spoke truth, which is one of the consequences of enlightenment, people do not want to hear of the truth if it tarnishes the ego.

That was it, Chris wanted to fight me, he kept on wanted to fight, i said look after he would not let go of this idea, let us go outside and talk about this, but I could see in his eye he had, had enough to drink and he was out to hurt me, he was angry towards me, but in truth he was angry towards his own inadaqacies.

As we stood outside he came towards me with a punch, I blocked this punch because it was natural instinct to me to do this as I had had many fights from boxing and on the street, then another punch and another, he was not skilled in this, but as he punched I would have to move back and block them, then suddenly my back was up to the wall of the house, I could move back no further and suddenly all those years of boxing kicked in like natural instinct, I gave him a quick jab in the face, more to push him back and away, and then Vicky kayes uncle jumped in and it all stopped, that was the end of it for now, we sent them home, her mother was inside the house beginning to start trouble she was also evacuated from the house

We thought that was the end of it, but little did we know that the next morning Chris or Bette had phoned up Chris's son and told him that I had punched him, now Chris was not a capable man he had previously had heart attacks and obviously his son was protective, his son's name was Mike, we had had old score to settle from previous engagements,that is he had old score to settle with me, that was another story you can read in my book "Freedom". He did not like me at all, this was a good excuse for him to act as his heart felt violence toward me.

Mike was not small but he was bigger than me and a lot more heavy, though I did not fear him, but he was a bully boy in nature and thought he could push his weight around.

Now Kaye was six months pregnant with our beautiful daughter Christalou, at the time a few nights had passed since the incident at the celebration then it was kick out time in the pubs, that is in England all the pubs shut at 10.30pm and you get all kinds of things going on in the streets, people get very courageous, we call it Dutch courage, 11pm comes and we get a knock on the door, and who was it who was that at this time of night? I sort of expected it, my brain did not have to work out too hard to figure it out, when the door knocked that time of night it normally means trouble here

I looked through the curtain and could see a car full of people getting out of the car and coming up our path, they had sticks and broken off one of the waste water carriers from the wall of the house this had broken into a hook with a sharp point on it, very lethal, there was Andy that was my ex's husband, Freddy Cook some one who I knew from the past, there was Mike, Jayne and some one who I did not know, now they were all courageous people I had thought, and what a compliment to my old ego that they thought they needed so many to come and put me down and even to be so frightened that they even needed weapons, my old ego would of relished this I thought with a little laughter in my belly.

I was not scared for myself but I was concerned for kaye and the baby that was in her belly, so I phoned the police and kept the door locked and shut tightly, we waited and waited that night for the police, they took hours to turn up eventually after many phone calls both from us any some of the neighbours who was disturb by all the rumpus the police eventually made it when by then most of the trouble had died down, the police cleaned up and the rabble was gone from the front door.

Inside of me I began to recognise there was a situation that was not good, though all this was going on, though Kaye and the unborn child was in danger there was no feeling of aggression that there once was, I tried to call it up, but it was just not there, it would not take it serious, but I knew if I could not act on this then they would be back again they would think I was a coward and scared, it was not that I was a coward or scared, it was that I could not see it seriously, it was just a play that I was detached from, I knew I had to become attached but how?.

The trouble finished Kaye was safe and so was the unborn baby in her belly, but inside of me I knew there was only one thing I could do to stop this happening again, as I knew it would be just a matter of time before they would go to the pub and come back, they had not got their bit of blood from me.

Therefore I considered everything and though I was liberated this was a problem, my liberation was the problem, had the no desire to act, and to force myself to act meant that there were no animal instincts in operation no instinctiveness to act with anger or passion hate and what have you, that is I could not look aggressive when I was really so loving inside, inside it was like I had to kill a cow by beating it to death with a ballon.

There was just no fighting instinct inside me. how could I call this up, I thought to myself maybe if I phone the police they will stop it, but that would not stop them still coming around at in opportune moments, and that night the trouble was here the police was not exactly eager to get here if this was so again maybe I will not be able to protect Kaye and the baby, it was all down to me, it was too dangerous for me not to act, and I had to act aggressively to make sure no harm would come to Kaye and the baby inside of her.

The next morning I had decided I was going to take the battle to their house, I was going to use the element of surprise, but I had to speak to my god in prayer and asked him to help me become convincing to convince myself about the seriousness of this situation, I asked him to take this enlightenment away because I was incapable to act in this world with it, and if I cannot act in this world there is danger for those around me who are here to live out their life and do what they are here to do, I kept saying this prayer like a mantra as I travelled to the house they were all in.

That morning I got up at the crack of dawn, I knocked on their door, The door opened, and behind the door stood Jayne, she looked at me with surprise, she did not expect to see me there, Jayne was my ex wife and mother of my two sons, and sister to Mike, I said, where is Mike I would like to see him?

She said he is still in bed, I could hear some talk inside the front room I knew the other people were still there, they had stayed over night, then i thought "no" to myself, "you have to do what you have to do".

I walked into the house up the stairs opened the door where the stink of alcohol came from the most, and there he was lieing in bed, I dragged the fat bastard out of his bed, for some one so heavy he seem to move easily down those stairs and then onto the lawn, with the help of me dragging him by his hair and his loss of balance made it so easy, you could hear him shouting out to the other guys who were in the house but for some reason non of them wanted to come outside and help him I was glad about this because I had sustained an injury in the shoulder some time before this in another incident before I went into prison I damaged my shoulder which ened my carreer as a boxer I could only therefore use one arm properly to fight with, now I am game for a good fight and say I am worth ten good men hahaha that is my Greek arrogance but I was at a disadvantage but you do not show your enemy your weakness.

I had learned in boxing I got him on the green grassed lawn outside, and then I kicked ten bells of shit into him, he screamed like a little boy for help on the front lawn all the neighbours were there watching it was like being in an arena in one of Rowners estates notorious for drugs and all kinds of criminal activity, I remeber that morning when I came back I walked past Kayes mother and step dads house and Chris was standing at his front door, I said to him I have just kicked ten bells of shit out of your son, did he deserve that for your lies?

After this I knew, to live in this society one cannot turn the other cheek because what that amounts to is you turn the other cheek and you will not only get punched to the floor and knifed in the back, but they will also rape your family and kill your children, ok ok hahaha! I have exagerated but that is where it will go to if you do not stand up for yourself, once the fight had began and the first few punches were thrown it felt like what I was saying; that inside me; I had to beat a cow to death with only a rubber balloon, I managed to do it, and came to realise that this kind of enlightenment is not ready for this kind of society, and ever since then I have been investigating ways to stay as close as possible to the higher self, but it has not been easy to work out over all of these years, I have had to allow myself to become blind, though it is still with me I carry it blindly and know what has to be done to go back to it, therefore what job have I come to do? I stand at heavens gate showing the way but I cannot enter yet.

I have come full heart to battle with this darkness so that I can have that liberation again, this can only happen when others are liberated then they will know me and I will know them as one and the same.

I have dedicated to my beloved friend Aashan Sajan GuruKal who inspired me to write this piece

LOVE TRUTH PEACE COMPASSION FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM
Ozay Rinpoche

Potential Of The body, beyond The Mind.

When I was young and new to this body, I did not know what it was really capable of because for most of the time I listen too much to what other people would say what I was capable of and what I was not capable of, and of course there was the TV and all those narrow version ideas about what the human body is capable of and then of coures if anyone goes outside of those boundary lines set down, your nuts or imaginative or some thing that was negative, and it would feel negative to my ego, that only wanted flaterry.

You know you have to create this ego, identity thing, and you have to be an artist, your own creative artist responsible for every brush stroke, hopefully a perfection artistic work so every year of your life every moment that you are in the company of others you create and keep creating this useless master piece......OK! OK! perhaps useless is going too far.

I only speak so strongly today because I am more aware now of the damage that shit item ego identity has caused in my life and in those lives of the people around me, I have even heard people say ego is treasure, well OK I can see that too, it's a great teacher but it is an two sided blade, one side cuts and creates pain the other side gives you realisation from the wisdom drawn from your suffering.

I was led to believe that the human body would if driven too hard drop down and die, well you know, it was wrong, come and listen to my story and I will tell you why that idea was absolutely wrong, I will tell you why and what I had found out during 2 different situations but with the same idea driving force behind it.

I was lucky to have had such a life when I was very young and still living at home as a young boy that I had also developed such a sensitive ego my life at home was not comfortable at all for such a sensitive ego, infact it was so uncomfortable it would be more comfortable to be dead, that was what I thought for most of the time during that period, my mind concieved that this place was living hell, and it would be better off if this body was no longer alive and out of this whole situation what did I deserve to be in this situation, I did no wrong to anyone why was I living and being bullied constantly. I will not go into the detail as that will not be the point I am here to make.

I remember that one day things had been as they were, I was sleeping in bed and because I had contracted a cold it meant that when I was asleep and breathing I would make a noise through my airways ie I was snoring, suddenly I am sleeping away and dreaming sweet dreams then there is a great red light and then there are these small stars of bright white light peppered onto the red light and a strange ping sound echoing through my ears like the sound of a bell that had just been hit and alowed to vibrate, and then a tremendous pain in my face, it was my dear beloved brother he had punched me in the face several times because I had woken him up, you see in those days we all slept in the same bedroom, he gave me a hiding while still lieing in bed, i was constantly going to school with black eyes split lips bruises etc.

There were not many days that went by that I was not carrying something on my face or body, so I took up boxing this was where it all started, by now I had began to run in the hope that my muscles would become stronger, I was determined to become able to look after myself, so that I did not have to feel defenceless.

That one day I put on my running cloths and went running up the mountains where I had lived and when I was running I was feeling very angry about my whole life and this suicidal tendancy was with me that day, why, why me why am I here in this situation this misery.

I had to fight in school, I had to fight going to school, and I had to fight comeing back from school, it was fight fight fight all the time, I had no problem standing up for myself when it was other kids and I would do well something in me would not allow me to lose any fight, but when it was my brother I was so scared of him, and I hated him for this, this anger was a buiolt up energy over whelming in its force and action it would produce from me.

I saw that mountain in front of me and I thought if I run hard enough I will be dead when I get to the top of it or before I get to the top of it, now this mountain was beyond my imagination I was only 10 years old at the time and to run all the way up there was not possible for me, after all I was conditioned to believe this, but this emotion inside of me was so strong I was so hurt and angry that I run and run and run, I got to the top, I am still alive, shitttt!

I looked at that other mountain over the other-side of the valley, I must be dead if I can get to the top of that one I was not going to stop until I had killed this body off there was no way was I going to be alive after today they would all find me dead, so I kept on running and running I got to the top of that mountain then there was another mountain and i run to the top of that one, something began to happen in me there was some release, I had over come the fear of death and I realised that my mind had limited me by making boundaries of what I could and could not do before I even tried it.

I realised I was capable of doing much greater things than my mind could believe that I could do, there was something beyond this mind and this mind had limited me, through what others had convinced me to believe and disbelieve, it was as if I had been released, though I was still alive my suffering had stoped for the time being because the suffering was all in my mind and by going beyond that mountain that my mind had created as a barrier, I had also gone beyond that mind and became free by that act and that realisation, I realised that the mind set limitations and that we are beyond those limitations of mind.

During this time there was another strange phenomena that occurred to me for the same reason though after over coming the fear of my situation by conquering the mountain, and so long as I could remember this place of sanctuary within myself without the mind, still there was pain coming onto my physical body from the same source, I could not escape it I was too young to leave home, and this pain given to my physical body caused even more pain to my emotional body, and therefore my mind was in pain very easily.

In such a situation was I in anguish, that night I remember it well Jack Evans is boxing gym I was walking to, down that long and dark path covered over with trees that gave the effect of walking through a cave created by trees where bats would fly through the air and almost touch your head, I got to Jacks gym actually I was a couple of years older by now, but still the problem was there in fact it was even worse my brother had gone to detension centre and then Borstal where he had become an olympic lifter and had won the british championship so by now his beatings were even worse than before I always tried to make sure I was not home when he was around I spent a lot of time living in the woods camping out in the summer months and I was always to frightened of him to defend myself, I was a coward to him yet in other situations I was a lion, the differences were so extreme, here is an account of this strange thing that happened that day:

I walked into Jacks gym got myself dressed for the workout, first was skipping for 30-60 minutes then there was bag work, then reflex ball work then sparring, then ground work, that was the usual workout 2 hours in all.

I did the skipping but with anger in my heart, that night I skipped longer and harder than usual, then I got onto the bag work, I began hitting the bag as fast and hard as I could, I was so angry, so emotionally disturbed, the rounds were always 3 minute rounds then Jack would ring the bell or Erny would ring the bell for 30 seconds rest.

That night I did not want to rest between the rounds, I was so hurt inside, I didn't want to look at anyone's face because I was so inside myself that night time was called again and again and I just carried on, that same idea, then that same feeling, idea resurfaced, came into my heart and came into my head, that idea and feeling of wanting to be dead.

DEATH, DEATH I WANT DEATH, I hit the bag fast I hit it harder and harder my heart was beating harder and harder and faster and faster the harder it beat the bag, the harder I breathed, the harder I would hit it again and again, my lungs were screaming for air my lungs were screaming at me for life but I denied them breath and life for I wanted death over everything.

Then it happened just as I came to that point where the body and breath has not got enough air to survive just at that moment when death was inevitable, something phenomenal happened at that moment I thought death was finally here, that breath was not enough to supply the heavy demand I had put on the body, and then I went beyond that last breath for life;

Suddenly all the self induced pain brought on by the excess punishment I put on the body, abruptly stopped, everything suddenly became stilled, the heart was not heard, the breathing was not heavy, the muscles were not hurting, in fact there was an at easeness the body became detached and everything was as if detached.

Though I was still working the body like some mad man, it was as if the body had become detached from me, as if I was ordering some machine to do this and to do that, I gave the body commands and it did everything I ask it to do, there was no more strain, nothing was impossible where as before there were impossibilities in this body, yet I was putting it under what would seem like tremendous strain, what it could do was unlimited, I had become super human, yet again I had conquered death and the miraculous happened.

It was this foundation that I had built my life upon, when I was only 13 I was able to fight in the ring with my senior Welsh champions and also European champions and put them to shame I also became UK light weight champion because of this relationship with the body, the lack of breath had taught me to become still inside even though the body was under tremendous strain, and that there was an area inside that has great power and great potential and to get there you have to go through the door way of death and become the still though the body is under stress and the mind was a block.

PS. I would like to add that there are no bad feelings towards my brother I have great love that you could not know for my brother, I see my brother as being a gift and specially designed for me so that I could see what I would not have saw in my life without him, though those years were difficult I now see the great value of them.

Hope this helps some of you along your way.

LOVE TRUTH PEACE COMPASSION FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM

Ozay Rinpoche