I can, And I will.

this is an unusual topic for me to discuss, why you may ask? the power of positive thinking had a lot to do with what happened to me during that time I spent in solitary confinement in Cardiff prison before I attained what to many seems impossible. I therefore have to concieve what kind of person it was before it came to that point of realiseation.

I remember thinking a lot about situation I would find myself in looking up to my brother whom I idolised and would always try to emulate his footsteps and of course my father who had died when i was only 18 months old, I put him in the position of a god like status, because my mother had told us all the stories about him she had painted a picture of a heroe beyond ondinary proportions at least that was how it went in my mind as i was growing up.

Then of course there was my brother, who I did not realise because of the lack of a father figure in his life and that he had become untamed and wild had a vicious brutal temper, this was also part due to the fact he was bullied by a certain teacher, he wore a great chip on his shoulder, for instance that particular teacher I am talking about was called Dicky hiley, he would pick on my brother mercilessly, well you know what they say about karma....listen to this for what goes round comes round.

We were by now older than we were when we were in the school of Dicky hiley then we were about 5-8 something like that, one day when John my brother was 18 years old and I was 16 we were walking down Trevethin hill, in pontypool South Wales United Kingdom, and guess what and who was walking up the Hill? yes you got it, it was the one and only Dickey Hiley, John had been to detention centres, Borstals and became quite powerful because he had trained as an olympic lifter and won the British title, so you can imagine he was quite a lumpy lad, Dickey hiley did not know what was coming to him on that day, he did not know that that day his sin were going to be relinquished, his karma was going to be put back into balance and God had chosen my brother to be his redeemer.

My brothers walks in front of Dickey hiley and blocks his path so that Dickey hiley would have to stop walking and look him in the face, John said " Do you know who I am?" with that grimace on his face with the look of anger burning in his eyes and a passion of Zorba, Hiley said no who are you? With a look of what i thought was fear, he had felt Johns anger so did I it was so powerful, then he said "I am John Cornick, do you remember me now?" With that John pounced on him I had seen this so many times happen to me, he beat him to the ground and when he fell to the ground he beat him even more, he just beat him and beat him until he could not beat him no more there were cries from Dickey hiley like a little baby crying for his mother.
Then after John had let out his anger, he said to him, now you know what it feels like to be bullied, how does it fucking feel Hiley. I thougt he was dead, but I guess he was just too frightened to answer him back in case he gave the wrong answer which was a wise choice I thought at the time.

There were incidences like this that had happened several times when I went out with my brother and I thought he was it no one was better than my brother, I heroised him, This made me think in a certain way as i was growing up, I did not see that my mothers was heroising my dad because she had loved him so much and could not speak anything else about him, people were frightened of my brother and I only saw that this was special, I was in a very perculiar situation for my environment which help to grow in me an attitude of greatness, so no wonder did i come to reason at a very young age like this: If any man can do this thing then I can also do this thing no matter what it is i have the power and I know I CAN AND I WILL.

This attitude stayed with me that day in 1982 springtime much like the day I am writing this on that i became liberated, for it was the I CAN AND I WILL, attitude that took me all the way to die unto the self and be born again, useing a Christian adage.

Love truth peace Compassion Freedom
Ozay Rinpoche